The 5 Stages of Binge-Watching

1. Denial: For days now, you’ve been denying to others just how much you’ve been watching. You deny that there’s anything wrong with how much you’re watching.

Examples may include:

“I’ve only watched 3 or 4 episodes of Breaking Bad!”

(In reality, it’s more like 3 or 4 seasons that you’ve watched. Time is an illusion to you.)

“I can stop anytime I want!” (Who are you kidding? Netflix has stopped asking you if you want to continue, because it knows that you’re in it for the long haul)

2. Anger: You become angry about how much you have to watch. You may also become angry at others for questioning your binge-watching habits.

Examples: “How DARE Netflix ask me if I want to continue watching?! Don’t they know I’m in the middle of the 8th season?!”

“I don’t have a problem! Now shut up and let me watch Gossip Girl in peace. And pass me the chips.”

“WHY SHONDA RHIMES, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.”

3. Bargaining: You would do anything to continue watching, or to have more episodes/seasons of your favorite show.

Ex: ” I’ll never complain about being in pain again if Derek Shepherd lives after being shot by the gunman.”

“I’ll trade my soul if it means that Jess and Rory will end up together.”

“I’ll give up junk food and exercise more if it means there’s another episode/season of Lie To Me.

4. Depression: This usually occurs after the death of a favorite character, or the series finale of your show.

“Why did (insert character) have to die? She/He/They were so good.”

“I can’t believe it’s over forever.”

Note: This stage may include making the couch your permanent grieving space, a mountain of tissues filled with your tears, as well as eating copious amount of comfort food.”

5. Acceptance: The final stage. With this stage comes the acceptance that your season/show has finally ended, and you currently have nothing to watch. You’ve gotten off of your couch, finally removed your sweats, cracked open your blinds, and are staring blearily at the sun.

And now at last, it’s time to begin again. (Which means you need to find a new show to watch. May I recommend Teen Wolf, Game of Thrones or Criminal Minds?)

 

 

I’ve Never Seen Star Wars & That’s Okay

Hi, I’m 21 years old, and I’ve never seen the Star Wars movies. And frankly, I don’t know if I ever want to.

If you haven’t stopped reading after this (or passed out from pure shock), let me explain why.

As a kid, it was never really a topic of discussion among my family and friends. My parents haven’t seen all of the movies, and they were alive when the first movie came out (sorry for aging you Mom & Dad!). My sister was only a baby by the time the prequel trilogy was completed, and my friends weren’t really interested in watching that sort of stuff.

Sure, I liked fantasy and science-fiction. But growing up, the first three movies had already been released, which left me with the prequels. By the time the last movie came out (Episode III: Revenge of the Sith), I was only  10 years old.

As a 10 year old, going to watch a movie about space didn’t quite capture my attention. I had other things to do, like watch television , read, and listen to my CD player. And by the time it came out at Blockbuster, I had moved on to other interests, namely camp and tennis

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a pretty big nerd. I can quote parts of the Harry Potter series, I know the smallest Doctor Who details (classic and current). I’ve attended Comic-Con for the past four years in cosplay.

But Star Wars has never appealed to me.

That, and all of the movies have been spoiled for me in some way.

Not on purpose of course, but still. Even the original movies have been in some way spoiled for me, and there’s really nothing I can do about it.

And before you blame technology and social media, I’ve had friends and well-intentioned strangers ruin plot points for me. In their excitement to explain the importance of watching Star Wars, they have shared key character relationships and events.

So I figured, why watch what has already been spoiled? I am happy to live in complete and utter ignorance.

And for the record, I’ve never seen the Lord of the Rings movies either.

But that’s another story, in a galaxy far far away.