1. Denial: For days now, you’ve been denying to others just how much you’ve been watching. You deny that there’s anything wrong with how much you’re watching.
Examples may include:
“I’ve only watched 3 or 4 episodes of Breaking Bad!”
(In reality, it’s more like 3 or 4 seasons that you’ve watched. Time is an illusion to you.)
“I can stop anytime I want!” (Who are you kidding? Netflix has stopped asking you if you want to continue, because it knows that you’re in it for the long haul)
2. Anger: You become angry about how much you have to watch. You may also become angry at others for questioning your binge-watching habits.
Examples: “How DARE Netflix ask me if I want to continue watching?! Don’t they know I’m in the middle of the 8th season?!”
“I don’t have a problem! Now shut up and let me watch Gossip Girl in peace. And pass me the chips.”
“WHY SHONDA RHIMES, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.”
3. Bargaining: You would do anything to continue watching, or to have more episodes/seasons of your favorite show.
Ex: ” I’ll never complain about being in pain again if Derek Shepherd lives after being shot by the gunman.”
“I’ll trade my soul if it means that Jess and Rory will end up together.”
“I’ll give up junk food and exercise more if it means there’s another episode/season of Lie To Me.”
4. Depression: This usually occurs after the death of a favorite character, or the series finale of your show.
“Why did (insert character) have to die? She/He/They were so good.”
“I can’t believe it’s over forever.”
Note: This stage may include making the couch your permanent grieving space, a mountain of tissues filled with your tears, as well as eating copious amount of comfort food.”
5. Acceptance: The final stage. With this stage comes the acceptance that your season/show has finally ended, and you currently have nothing to watch. You’ve gotten off of your couch, finally removed your sweats, cracked open your blinds, and are staring blearily at the sun.
And now at last, it’s time to begin again. (Which means you need to find a new show to watch. May I recommend Teen Wolf, Game of Thrones or Criminal Minds?)