I have some exciting news to share with you all. I am now officially 20 years old, as of this past Tuesday. My teenage years are finally over. My blog is almost two years old. I’m growing up. However, despite my adult status, I now feel anything but an adult.
In psychology, there is something called Terror Management Theory (TMT for short). Basically, what it means is that we (as humans) are constantly trying to avoid death, even though it is inevitable.
We put up defenses to avoid even thinking about death. We distance ourselves from animals, we distance ourselves from others, we do everything in our power to avoid death. This includes aging. Even though we can’t stop the aging process (despite our best efforts), we often try to make ourselves feel better by trying to look/act younger. We surgically enhance what we once had,cover ourselves with anti-aging beauty products, dress up in clothes that make us look younger, and we thrive on compliments such as “you look so young/pretty”. Parents cast their unfulfilled dreams onto their kids, they want the best for them, because it’s something they could never obtain.
It’s something we as humans do on a subconscious level, and I find it to be sad. I’m growing older, we all are, and now I’m grasping onto the last glimpses of childhood/my teenage years. I’m terrified of my future, and knowing that everyone else is too doesn’t help. One of my pet peeves is when someone tells me not to worry, to take it day-by-day, but then later asks me what my future will hold. Doing that just reminds me that my future is fast approaching, which means I’m getting closer to death. So please, don’t ask me that unless you want me to have an existential crisis.
I guess the only thing we can do is take it day by day, at least until we finally crack the Fountain of Youth (secretly, I’m hoping it’s a real object, because that would be awesome).
But for now, what were you scared of when you were 20? If you’re younger than 20, what are you scared of in your future?
Have a great day!
16 thoughts on “Lukewarm Coffee & Cinnamon Rolls (or, How I Am Not An Adult Yet)”
I remember my transition from 19 to 20, even 21, I was in crisis, I knew that I wasn’t a teen no more, but I wasn’t an adult yet, so, what I was ? I was in crisis. I had another kind of crisis when I turned 30, but, this time, I could manage it better. So, I suppose, I’ll have another crisis T my 40’s ?
Take care. Hugs !!!
That’s the crisis I’m currently going through, hopefully it will get easier over time! 🙂
You will get over it, don’t worry. I wish you have someone to talk to. Well, feel better, you will get over it.
Thank you! I have friends and family I can talk to, but I figured I’d start off with a blog post 🙂
It also bugged me when people told me not to worry and that I had time to figure things out. Still does. I think it’s important to figure yourself out and determine what you want from life, rather than procrastinate (I just figured this out and I’m 25). Worth watching this TED Talk if you’ve never seen it, since we share a similar mindset: http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20. Great post!
Thank you! I just watched a fair amount of the TED Talk you sent me (I’ll finish it once I post this comment), and it brought up some really interesting points about our 20’s and our future 🙂 Thank you for sharing it, and I’m glad someone is in a similar mindset as me 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wish you a very happy birthday!!
20’s are meant to be confusing I think. You are at the decision making cusp. Who do I want to be, what should I do, where should I live, what are my goals….But eventually it all gets figured out. Either by choice or circumstance.
But aging, aging is a beautiful thing. It is the most natural thing in the world. I do miss the simplicity and the innocence of youth, but I do not miss being young because every age has its cool things going for it. I love how we fill out and become our true selves as we grow older. We become more distilled, more purer(?) to our true selves, more present. I am in my 40s now and I love it! I am not necessarily any the wiser, or maturer for that matter, but I do like the elegance of it. Its like coming home or seeing it with new eyes. 40 years on this planet, 40 years of experiencing this tremendous and exquisite force we call nature and knowing the nearness of loved ones…the rest, wrinkles, grey hair, saggy skin….seem so irrelevant when compared to all that.
And death is inevitable but I refuse to live in fear of it. I choose to live in awareness of life instead. 😉
My two cents worth… 😀
I think you have a very interesting perspective on the subject! Since I just turned 20, I haven’t really been able to gain a brand new perspective/pair of eyes about the world yet, but I’m looking forward. I also enjoy the fact that you’re maintaining a more positive outlook on the idea of aging, as it seems most people don’t now-and-days 🙂 Your outlook is pretty inspiring 😀
When I turned 20 I was worried because I didn’t understand how the tax registration and similar things works in Ireland. Nearly 22 and still getting a headache with it all. 😛
Aw man, I forgot about taxes! Haha I better start learning 😛
Just relax and have a bad time, remembering the while that young people grow old faster than older people.
Haha that’s excellent advice!
happy belated birthday! i don’t think i had a clue what i wanted when i was 20…i’m only figuring that out now haha! but i agree most of us are scared of death/aging, even if we don’t consciously realize it. the quote on your page about most people ‘existing’ rather than ‘living’ is bang on. it’s great that you’re asking these questions at such a young age. i wish i had been that self-aware! ❤ aleya
Hi, thank you so much! And thank you for commenting 🙂 And sadly, being self-aware can also have it’s negative points as well, but for the most part it’s okay ❤
i know…sometimes it feels like ignorance would be bliss! 😉 ❤
I agree, but it would also be quite boring! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person